Some one-liners and quotes

1. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.

2. Did you know the definition of a will is a dead give-away?

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse. How about revise?

5. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

6. I like this one – A chicken walking across the street is poultry in action.

7. Be careful to pay your exorcist or you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you a flat minor.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

12. A grenade thrown into a French kitchen would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You feel stuck with debt if you can’t budge it.

14. He often broke into a song because he couldn’t find the key!

Enough of that. Now I’ll give you some worthwhile quotes from Eleanor Roosevelt.

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave imprints in your heart.”

“To handle yourself, use your head – to handle others, use your heart.”

“Anger is only one letter short of danger.”

“Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.” (For the last example, I’d change “discuss” to “disgust.”)

“He who loses money, loses much. He who loses a friend, loses much more, but he who loses faith, loses all.”

“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.”

“Learn from the mistakes of others – you can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

I love this next one because when I visited the sick at Brooks Hospital, we loved to make a circle. Here’s why:

“Friends, you and me

You brought another friend

And then there were three

We started our group

Our circle of friends

And like that circle

There is no beginning or end!”

She quoted this often, too:

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today (the present) is a gift.”

Many people loved President Roosevelt and many people hated him. But I think most people respected Eleanor Roosevelt. Hey, I don’t look at who says something. I look at what is said. Then I judge for myself.

Recently, I watched a situation unfold. The people who represented one point of view saw themselves as high minded. The opponents saw them as high handed. Both are part of the body but they are worlds (and words) apart.