×

Stability thorough comings goings

Late June. Time for the great migration — moving season.

What an exciting time for families wanting to find their perfect home before school starts again.

There are many other reasons for moving, of course. Empty nesters want to downsize. New employees are relocating. There’s a sense of optimism in Dunkirk with a new employer establishing its niche and, in our hopes, sticking around for some time. New jobs, new homes, old homes refreshed and invigorated by the dreams of new owners.

I too will be moving soon, approaching closure of my own family’s circle of migration that started 60 years ago in the march to suburbia that occupied American families then. My parents left their parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles behind. Many in my generation came of age in suburbia, away from the inter-generational family network that nourished communities. Yet there was something glorious about being a kid among woodlands and fields. There’s always a trade-off when societies make these large-scale shifts.

To some extent, the recent moves in my family are drawing the circle back around, and I wonder if that is happening in other families.

While I still have far-flung children, this past year has seen three generations of my family move “away” in order to congregate in one area. My upcoming move will draw that circle closer. Are we somewhat typical of what’s happening in America today, or have my own personal circumstances been merely coincidental?

There is certainly value to be gained in drawing nearer. Moving is a deliberate act that requires giving something up, and most likely that sacrifice is a comfortable tenure in a house full of beloved memories. The trade-off? Proximity to something important-grandchildren, friendlier weather, cultural attractions. I would add bakeries and donuts to that list, as well as proximity to a baseball team.

Still, it’s hard to trade familiar circumstances for new ones. Just moving from Fredonia to Dunkirk exposed my family to new sounds, a more measurable lake wind, and even different smells. All of that takes some getting used to, even if the move is all for the better. After 22 years, we empty nesters are moving and downsizing. Four children came of age in my house. We pulled up rugs, laid rugs, pulled them up too. We put in a pool, enjoyed it, outgrew it, sold it. We covered up a back door to nowhere, but we never could figure out how to deal with a kitchen with four doors. I became a grandmother in this house. Twigs became seedlings in the yard and then trees.

The mark we make upon a house is silently profound. Let’s hope we all leave something good for the next people to love. For whatever reason, we leave old homes behind because it’s time for the next “better.”

At this point, I am defining “better” as a situation like my grandparents’ in Syracuse a zillion years ago, in that era between wars. The entire extended family lived within a few blocks of each other. They went to church together, met for Sunday dinner, squabbled over politics at Sunday dinner, shared holidays. Nobody had to fly home.

There’s some comfort in that. Some families never lost that. A lot of those extended families are right here in Dunkirk. For better or worse, they share a comfortable continuity passed down from one generation to the next. Yesterday’s Dunkirk is not today’s, and yet, so many of the surnames have stood the test of time.

I long for something close to that. There are too many airplanes involved in my family gatherings. We are far-flung, and we will probably never re-create our ancestors’ proximity. But a few of us are taking steps to close that circle. A few are contracting back from that migratory big bang. Whether that few in my family extends to a societal trend is a matter for sociologists to determine.

My surname isn’t common here. It’s easy for me to leave.

But 25 years from now, I expect area coffee shops will be filled with the next generation of locals pontificating on the matters of the day — same names, different topics.

Newsletter

Today's breaking news and more in your inbox

I'm interested in (please check all that apply)
Are you a paying subscriber to the newspaper? *
   

COMMENTS

Starting at $4.62/week.

Subscribe Today