The OK, the horrific and the forgettable

Just like host Ricky Gervais's lackluster opening monologue, the stars failed to “wow” on the Golden Globes red carpet Sunday. There was something amiss with almost every look, whether it was the accessories, the hair or the make-up. It's still early in the game and I'm hoping the stars are saving their best for the more important award shows to come.

What I hated the most:

- Jessica Biel: Do you remember when, several years ago, Jessica Biel was having a moment? She was on the cover of what seemed like every magazine, on every red carpet, and she looked incredible. She still does, however, she regularly seems to appear as if she got dressed in the dark or, in a fit of anxiety, amidst a pile of discarded gowns strewn about the room, threw on her fanciest table cloth and stormed out the door. That is exactly what I believe to have happened with her Golden Globes look. Rumor has it that she just got engaged, which gave the paps and reporters a reason to take her picture and ask her questions, helping her to secure a few moments in the spotlight. If she played her cards right, she could have had photos of her looking gorgeous in all of the weeklies and plastered all over the web. If you can afford a top stylist - or a mirror - take advantage. I’d say that I have no sympathy for her, except when I consider the fact that she probably has to pretend that her alleged fiance Justin Timberlake is sufficient as an actor. That may be her greatest performance.

  - Zooey & Emily Deschanel: Beautiful girls, bad dresses. Black and lime green with a white lace collar – why, Zooey, why?! As a fashion darling on the fall’s hottest new show, Zooey could have done so much better. I much prefer her everyday style to what she wears on the red carpet - at the moments where it counts, she seems to make choices that range from unflattering to ghastly. When I saw a picture of Zooey posing with her sister, Emily (star of the show “Bones”), in that awful, matronly sack in a hue more appropriate for a stewardess's uniform in the days of yore, all I wanted to do was bang my head against the wall. It's a sisterly duty to say, “That's not the best dress choice.” Perhaps that's the problem – if they secretly can't stand each other, they must have each reassured the other, “You've never looked better.”

- Sarah Michelle Gellar: SMG is back! She has a starring role on a primetime television show! People still care about her! And this is what she decides to wear. Sadly, that dress made her look like a deranged Southern belle at an '80s prom with a tie-dye theme. Better luck next time.

-  Jessica Chastain: Jessica’s performance in “The Help” was so effervescent, so spot-on, laugh-out-loud funny and heartbreaking all at once. It was, hands-down, one of my favorites of the year. The woman starred in five films in 2011, and some of them were major. It wasn’t long ago at all that she could have been shopping at Wal-Mart or pigging out on a Denny's sampler and never have to worry about being interrupted for an autograph. At the various soirees and red carpet events over the past year, she has looked consistently great. It’s so unfortunate that she - or perhaps her stylist - totally choked when it could have been her moment to shine. Her Globes look is better suited for a woman in her 50s, minus the sleevelessness. The hairstyle, the ill-fitting bodice, the beaded turtleneck… what a shame.

What I hated the least:

  - Viola Davis: Viola came the closest to perfection with her Globes look and I'm sad that her fashion triumph has come and gone without fanfare. The color and fit of her gown were exactly right, and the shorter crop looks wonderful on her. She truly glowed on Sunday. Angelina who?

- Octavia Spencer: Octavia had a well-deserved win for her role in “The Help” and she looked like a winner as well. The lilac shade was so flattering on her and stood out amongst a sea of neutrals. I love it when lesser-known stars have a chance to look glamorous after entering public consciousness while portraying a role that was decidedly unglamorous - it makes for an even bigger impact when they show up looking completely fabulous. Bravo, Octavia.

  - Emma Stone: Out of all of the young Hollywood stars, Emma did the best by far. She looked her age, she didn't try too hard, and her dress was interesting without being over-the-top (take notes, Lea Michele). I'm still on the fence about the eagle on her belt and I hated the eye makeup, but everything else worked well.

- Sofia Vergara: Was it predictable? Sure. Was it similar to the gowns she has worn on many red carpets past? Absolutely. But Sofia proved Sunday that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Her navy blue mermaid-style gown trumped many of the woeful frocks at the Globes.

Honorable mentions

Briefly, here are a few that weren't my favorites but were more memorable than others – and not for all of the wrong reasons:

- Michelle Williams: Many people disliked Michelle's dress but I actually enjoyed it, along with the vintage headband. She still hasn't been able to recapture the magic of her canary yellow gown at the 2006 Oscars but this awards season will afford her many opportunities to try again. I'd love to see her show off how beautiful she really is.

- Charlize Theron: I don't feel 100 percent about her dress or her makeup, but overall, she looked like a true movie star.

- Reese Witherspoon: Loved the dress but hated the hair. Would it have killed her to touch up the roots before the event? A Veronica Lake-style coif would have been so much better.