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Society: Bullying not always open

February 6, 2013

A little 11-year-old girl in London, Ohio, frequently came home from school crying, her parents told police recently....

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(82)

Grandaddy

Feb-06-13 7:47 AM

In a society whose Government uses violence and bulling to solve all its problems… one can expect little else from its citizens.

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Dcronlg

Feb-06-13 9:05 AM

"Whose Government uses violence and bullying to solve all its problems..."? -- why you're as ignorant as they day is long.

Pray, where is the mention of the parents of the bullies? Where is the mention of THEIR responsibilities for THEIR children?

I thought parental responsibilities was one of the central tenets of conservatism --only when convenient, I suppose...

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SmallTownSmallMind

Feb-06-13 9:23 AM

I don't think Grandaddy was making a partisan comment. We as a nation have been bullies since becoming a world power. We have been a country of cowboys (hence the love of Reagan), and we bully other nations on a regular basis. So, his comment reflects the example we as a country set for our children. The government and any other adults as a whole, serve as role models for our children and youth. Perhaps we don't solve all our problems through bullying, but we solve a lot of them that way. You plant corn, you get corn!

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judeye

Feb-06-13 9:30 AM

We need to address this issue starting at home. Teaching our children that love and tolerance and acceptance of others is a GOOD THING.

This story is too tragic. A child hurting so badly that they kill themselves? Oh my, my heart goes out to her family. Along with my deepest sympathies and many prayers for comfort.

Think I will talk to my own grandchildren again tonight about bullies and what they can and must do it they witness such behavior.

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MikeDavis

Feb-06-13 9:46 AM

Judeye, absolutely agree. If every parent (and grandparent) would do that the issue would all but go away. I see Dc is back in the mix to sneer at people about their opinion. But that's not bullying, is it Dc? You are a prime example of a bully. Learn to discuss, not denigrate, it comes with maturity and shows respect. For both the person you are talking with and yourself.

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SmallTownSmallMind

Feb-06-13 10:29 AM

I have to agree with Mike on the Dc comment. I believe you can say almost anything you want to say to anybody; however, it must be done with respect. I admit I have been denigrating at times with Steiner, and, really, there is no excuse for it. Well said Mike. Thank-you for that reminder. Dc, you have some really good points, but the way you say it trumps the substance and your anger trumps your intelligence.

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DarkStar

Feb-06-13 11:23 AM

"why you're as ignorant as they day is long. "

Well there goes Steiner again, oops sorry I mean Dcronlg, attacking the person and not the message.

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Marcia

Feb-06-13 11:39 AM

To think that bullying in the schools does not exist is a complete lie. I know for a fact that teachers in Fredonia stood by and did nothing when children were bullied for their race and sexuality. This was a few years back, but I doubt anything has changed.

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DarkStar

Feb-06-13 11:57 AM

"Officials in her school district have emphasized they do not tolerate bullying"

The problem is that often the way schools deal with the situation only makes things worse.

For example a few years back when my son was still in Fredonia elementary school he was being bullied, and actually hit, during his lunch periods.

This was witnessed by various staff and rather then dealing with the student doing the bullying (and risk their parent being upset) they decided to pulled my son out and have him eat seperate from the other students, so as to avoid the bullying student.

This of course only caused him to feel even more singled out and isolated.

cont....

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DarkStar

Feb-06-13 12:06 PM

cont....

Saying I wasn't happy when I heard about this is an understatement. I called the school and was told that the kid doing the bullying has had a hard life and that this was the best solution because they didn't want to cause the bully anymore problems or stress then he already has.

My response had them aghast because I told them that since they would not protect my son that I would I let him know that he can defend himself. Also I stated that I would be teaching him a few simple, but highly effective techniques, to easily and rapidly disable an attacker.

It was my turn to be aghast when they said that if my son defended himself and hit the other kid back that he would be suspended.

Now I try and be a reasonable person, but this was just to much and I lost it a bit and said "You have my f'ing cell number, don't be afraid to use it after picking that little **** up off the floor."

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SmallTownSmallMind

Feb-06-13 1:03 PM

The comments I have read from Marcia and Darkstar are very bothersome to me. First of all, the school system serves as surrogate parent as they are with our children for the largest part of their day. They must do the right thing when it comes to punishing bullies and protecting victims. In Marcia's scenario, it sounds like they did what was easiest. In Darkstar's son's case, it sounds like they did exactly the opposite of what should be done. When a bully strikes, punishment should be fast and firm, and zeroed in on the act. What they did was reward him positively. They ended up punishing the victim by isolating and making him feel as if he was at fault. The bully's actions were positively reinforced. Positive reinforcement is used to get desired behaviors to repeat themselves. So, in essence, the bully was rewarded and the victims were punished. The bully was empowered to strike again, and the victim has learned not to trust the system and withdraw into himself.

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Dcronlg

Feb-06-13 1:47 PM

MikeD, et al: your definition of "bullying" is tissue-paper thin. I'm not one of these folks who believe "There's no such thing as a dumb idea". There are plenty of dumb ideas, and likewise, there are plenty of spurious, ignorant, dumb comments.

I call them out.

If one has a rational argument, I'll listen and appreciate it. If someone says something stupid, spiteful, or ignorant, then I'll call them on it.

Your issue MikeD et al, is that I don't agree with you almost all the time, and I shoot down your thoughts because IMO, they are misguided and pedestrian.

You gotta deal with me as I have to deal with you.

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DarkStar

Feb-06-13 2:20 PM

Dcronlg,

Yes, and you've shown very clearly that your definition of a "rational argument" is one that you agree with and anything else is ignorant and the person posting it needs to be chastised.

And actually this behavior of your does fit the definition since when you are attacking the person, rather then their message you aren't doing so to encourage debate but instead to try and shame and/or embarrass them to discourage their participation in further discussion.

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MikeDavis

Feb-06-13 6:01 PM

Bully...Oops, I mean Dc. What I can do is ignore you and your disrespectful comments. Please don't interrupt the adults having a discussion from now on with your tantrums, thank you.

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MikeDavis

Feb-06-13 6:09 PM

Darkstar, I have to say the situation you encountered at the school brought back a memory. When my daughter was threatened by some girls at the school. I went to the principal and called those three young ladies into his office with us. I explained that a school is to be safe and bullying is not going to be tolerated. I also explained that my billing rate was 125 dollars an hour and I was losing three hours of paid time at my job to inform them of that. I further told them I would be back the following Monday for my check from each of their parents for one hour of my lost time. Or they could agree then and there to never bully anyone again. They agreed rather quickly. My daughter never had a problem for the rest of her time in school.

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bulldog10

Feb-06-13 7:08 PM

Your joking right Mike. Nice story, ha ha

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MikeDavis

Feb-06-13 10:25 PM

No bull, not a joke and I can still see their sweet little smug faces turn to scared little girls when I said it. The principal was taken aback but to his credit he didn't say anything until after the three left his office. And no, they never once bothered my daughter again. Most people can be reasoned with bull...most.

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DarkStar

Feb-07-13 7:49 AM

MikeDavis,

That was bloody brilliant!

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judeye

Feb-07-13 8:10 AM

MikeDavis..that was brilliant!

Marcia and Darkstar..so sorry..for you and your children. There is NO excuse for bullying. I wonder DS why they did not make the bully sit away from others?

Bullying seems to have increased over the years. Now due to the internet, texts, tweets, and gosh what else..some of these kids cannot escape from the bullies..even in the what should be the safety of their own home.

As adults, we too must try to be more respectful especially as we disagree on issues and views. Every voice is important.

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teacherteacher

Feb-07-13 10:01 AM

So bullying is not right but lying to a child telling them your billing them for $125 an hour is right? Or lying to them telling them you make $125 a hour is right? Ok!

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teacherteacher

Feb-07-13 10:02 AM

Your story sounds like a lot of bull....

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MikeDavis

Feb-07-13 10:36 AM

I don't know when the last time you paid for a professional engineering firms time "teach" but, it was billed to the company I worked at for that rate. And since that was years ago you can bet the rate a company pays for my expertise is even higher. Now, please honor my request I expressed to you with your race baiting garbage spewing diatribe on the other thread. Please never talk to me directly again.

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DarkStar

Feb-07-13 10:46 AM

Judeye,

Thanks.

The reason they gave for sperating my son instead of the bully was that the bully "has had a rough life. He's been through a lot and needs understanding and not the stress of being judged by others due to his actions."

At one point I did ask "so your saying it's okay for him to beat on my son, or other people's children because he's had a rough life?"

They said "no of course it's not alright, but we've found that it's easier for him if we simply remove any kid he does it to so as to not cause him (the bully) any distress."

I wish I had recorded the call because I was part of it and I still can't believe it happened so I'm sure many will claim that it would never happen that way (although I have heard similar stories from other parents with kids in Fredonia.)

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American

Feb-07-13 11:20 AM

What ever happened to the part where the troublemaker or the instigator was the one punished, not the ones that are the victim. One more sign that our society is moving in the wrong direction and is getting sicker every day.

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teacherteacher

Feb-07-13 12:39 PM

You still lied because you never had the intention to bill them and your pay is no where near 125 per hour. Your misleading as usual.

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