Carol Kindberg died on July 7, 2014.

“Why wouldn’t you call in the best for your loved one?”

The answer came without hesitation, all of two words comprising a total of two syllables and delivered over the din of lunchtime diners at Tim Hortons Cafe & Bake Shop in Jamestown’s Brooklyn Square.

“Don’t wait,” Gary Kindberg said emphatically between bites of a grilled wrap. “Just because you talk to Chautauqua Hospice & Palliative Care doesn’t mean they’re going to come charging in with staff and a hospital bed.” Instead the nurses and aides simply take charge in their own caring, compassionate way.

And in our mother Carol’s case, she was the true beneficiary. For nearly three years, the 80-year-old widower had been receiving treatment for soft tissue sarcoma, but by May 2014, all options had been exhausted.

“When Mom got to the point where I knew that we could use a little relief, I wanted Chautauqua Hospice & Palliative Care in there,” said Gary, President of Lind Funeral Home Inc. in Jamestown. “I wasn’t signing her death certificate. It was letting us breathe.”

A sigh of relief?

“You get so caught up in the day-to-day grind,” he continued, “that you don’t even realize it until someone comes in and really gives you the help you need that you step back and you think, ‘Phew, how are we living our lives and working?'”

Most importantly our mom, Carol, who spent decades caring for others in her career as a registered nurse, was able to have the favor returned in her greatest time of need.

“Nothing caught you by surprise,” Gary said. “They were so close to being spot-on to everything, it helped us mentally understand that, ‘OK, this is what they said and this is what happens.’ It wasn’t so much to digest all at once. You knew ahead of time, because they told you.”

In addition to caring for her physical needs (bathing, medications, meals), the Chautauqua Hospice & Palliative Care staff also became part of her extended family. The nursing and aide visits three days a week were something that she looked forward to. “There were times while they were there that they were just providing social support and talking,” Kindberg said. “Mom being mom, she wanted to hear about the aide’s family and wanted to pray for the aide’s family. The workers ended up getting blessed while they were blessing her.”

That’s why Gary advises anyone in similar circumstances to call Chautauqua Hospice & Palliative Care without hesitation.

“What are you waiting for?” he asked rhetorically. “To wear yourself out? These people do this for a living. They’re giving a level of care. No matter how much you love your mom, you can’t provide care at the level they can. Why wouldn’t you call in the best for your loved one? You’re getting the best end-of-life care, in the best place – their own home — and it costs you zero.”

“I know a lot of Hospice workers and there’s not a stinker in the bunch,” Gary continued. “From the way I see it, you have to be part of a team; they all care tremendously, they all get the mission and the ministry, and they all carry it out.”

Our mom passed away on July 17, 2014, not quite three months after Chautauqua Hospice & Palliative Care paid its first visit.

“I have no regrets,” Gary said. “She wasn’t going to get better. The fact she could be home, we could be there, people could come for quick visits and leave again- it was the best it could be. Because we had talked about it, she knew it wasn’t giving up. She was giving in to help.”

“There’s not a thing I wish they had done differently,” Gary said.