I was never good at “Jeopardy.” My mind is like a wet paper bag, and memories drop through like grapefruits. So, to get revenge on smart people, I made up my own game of jeopardy.

Local for 10. This local street connects two municipalities. In one of them, it runs smoothly (but for a couple really obnoxious traffic lights). In the other it resembles a bombed out war zone. People wonder about this glaring discrepancy, about what decisions led to this, or if it was Karma of some sort.

Local for 20. This body of water, made by nature and man, has been a source of heated controversy. It sits high in the country, a green and lovely place, a blessed font willing to bestow upon the denizens below its life sustaining waters. That’s the nature part. The other part is man, who a generation ago messed up its operability through neglect and ignorance, and by currying favor to private interest over that of the public. Today it lies dormant, like a sleeping beauty above the corpse of a once vibrant castle.

Regional for 20. Despite terrific new technology regarding efficient means of transportation, from space satellites to high speed trains, these fuel inefficient, huge, ponderous hunks of yellow metal still dominate the streets for over two hours every day, their brakes squealing, their aircompressed door hissing, their engines groaning and guzzling gas. Their passengers, framed in square windows, gaze out, feeling like they are being transported to the primitive era of their grandparents.

Regional for 20. By offering cheap beer and parochial charm, these establishments serve to ward off competitors that would bring outside businesses into the area.

Regional for 10. This fan group seems unaware or ignorant of the real historical violence and greed associated with its moniker. They paint themselves red white and blue as they engender team spirit and truly believe in a destiny that will annihilate the ghost of wide right forever.

Sports for 20. The reaction of just about every pro athlete when called for a foul or penalty.

Sports for 30. A word to describe the litany of repeated phrases, words, and sentences used by sports announcers, interviewers, and athletes when recapping a game, i.e. “What was going through your mind when you…” or “It was a team effort” or “He gave 1000%.”

Sci-Fi for 10. One of the greatest Science fiction films in which the physical bodies of humans have been harnessed to provide sustenance for an alien force. Human free will is at stake, symbolized by two pills representing a binary choice – one pill represents blind acceptance of a false reality, however blissful; the other stands for freedom to choose one’s course in life.

Dystopia for 20. Probably the most prophetic of all dystopian novels in which humans live in a world where omnipresent screens control what they think. There is no Truth, and people are controlled by the powers that be.

Dystopia for 100. This 1991 low budget film starring Ethan Hawk and Uma Thurman explores the detrimental social, psychological and religious effects of genetic engineering. Here, your genetic make up is all that matters as elite humans fashion themselves into gods.

America for 10. These possessions are used primarily by people (men mostly) who don’t really need them for anything other than symbols of masculinity. (Those people who use them are also likely to complain about the price of gas.)

America for 50. This international investigation should bring to justice the perverse nature of the wealthy and powerful transactors of the world. All it has done so far is provide incontrovertible evidence that the current US Department of Justice is absolutely corrupted, and the perverted power perps go unpunished.

America for 100. These two powerful world leaders debated on a national stage ten years ago about each other’s manly appendages (so Presidential). Today they are a pair of Waltzing Willies and are ushering in a new era of war.

World for 150. This explosive device is hidden beneath the water in a channel to blow up ships transporting stuff like oil.

Musician, writer, house painter Pete Howard lives in Dunkirk. Send comments to odyssmusic20@gmail.com