OBSERVER Photo by Mary Heyl Earlier this month, motivational speaker David Flood, right, spoke to Brocton Middle and High School students about the importance of inclusion.

BROCTON — Motivational speaker David Flood recently gave Brocton students three challenges to not only change their individual lives, but also the culture of their entire school.

Amber Nickerson-Buchanan, school social worker, was instrumental in bringing Flood to Brocton, where he shared the importance of inclusion with students in grades six through twelve. Flood, a Long Island native, has spoken in 36 states and in Canada to over 400,000 students, and his last three Facebook videos have over 90 million views. His message was simple, yet powerful: “Your life is not about you, but the people you love and the people who love you.”

The father of a son with special needs, Flood is devoted to helping students understand the impact of including others. He talked to Brocton students about his 18-year-old son, Justin, who has autism. “He’s kind, and he’s compassionate, and he’s caring, but he doesn’t know how to interact in social situations,” Flood explained. “He can’t look people in the eye, and he doesn’t know how to sit at a lunch table and have a conversation.”

Flood asked students to think about a time in their own lives when they felt alone. “How can you realize, recognize and acknowledge loneliness in another person?” he asked. “Not just special needs kids, but also kids that are shy, awkward, different or unique?”

Flood shared a message that he heard about drug and alcohol abuse and suicide prevention — topics which he also speaks about on a regular basis. “Loneliness is toxic,” he said. “As early as middle school, kids can build a wall around themselves.” He encouraged students to “reach across the walls” by seeing themselves in others.

For 30 seconds, students were challenged to look at the students sitting near them and fill in the following blank: “When I look at you, I see…” Flood, himself, participated and told one student, “When I look at you, I see myself.”

“Stop looking at people on the outside; look on the inside,” he said. “It’s hard to look at someone who doesn’t look like, act like or talk like you…You have to stop looking at things with your mind, and look with your heart. Your mind always wants to protect you; your heart wants to connect you.”

Flood addressed a timely issue that, if not concerning to students, may worry their teachers and parents: students’ dependency on their cell phones. “A cell phone is a great tool, an amazing invention,” Flood acknowledged. “It can do most anything, but I can’t hug anyone or hold someone’s hand with it.” He encouraged students to prioritize face-to-face interactions and to put their cell phone away when they don’t need it.

No one’s coming to take your phones away, but this is true for phones and really everything: Proximity is destiny,” Flood stated. “The nearer something is to you, you are going to reach for it.”

Flood shared a story of a student he met at another school who was struggling in friendships with students who were making choices he didn’t agree with, such as drinking, vaping, and using drugs. He pointed out that the same rule — proximity is destiny — applies. “The odds go up that you’re going to do what they’re doing if you are near them,” Flood pointed out. “If you forget everything else from today, go home, look yourself in the eyes and ask, ‘Am I the same person alone as I am with my friends or do I change? Are we a healthy group together?'”

Flood then invited students to partake in the second challenge: “Go to two adults in this building, look them in the eyes, and say, ‘Thank you for keeping me safe and the kids safe here at Brocton.'” He emphasized the importance of face-to-face interactions and how much faculty and staff care about students as people, not just as learners.

He shared a special story about Justin: a life-changing moment for his son, as well as everyone who witnessed it. In middle school, Justin joined a recreational hockey team after six or seven months of hockey lessons. While Justin had yet to score a goal that season, he and his coach were hopeful that day would come.

“My only care was if he’s having fun and part of and included in the team,” said Flood. He then took a hockey puck out of his pocket from the last game of his son’s 2011 season. Importantly, Justin scored his first goal with that very puck.

“I know the other team let Justin score,” Flood smiled. “I went to the opposing team and I thanked the coach. ‘Don’t thank me; thank my boys,’ the coach replied. ‘It wasn’t my idea — it was their idea.’ They were 10, 11 and 12 years old,” he recalled. “They knew they were going to win no matter what, so they let Justin score.”

Flood pointed out, “The witness to the act of kindness was more impacted than the person it was done for. Justin cherishes that, but I took it out to the world. When you perform an act of kindness toward someone, three people benefit: them, you, and anyone else who witnesses that act.”

Flood then gave students their third challenge: no one eats alone. While some students may choose to eat alone for various reasons, Flood acknowledged, he said there should always be someone who offers to include them, even if they decline.

He concluded his talk with words of wisdom from his mother: “Your life is not about you…your life is about the people you love and those who love you. Being selfless doesn’t mean you think less of yourself; it just means you think about yourself a little bit less.”