“Bullying is for people which don’t have any confidence at all, so everyone which is being bullied always remember; they are scared of you. You have something that they don’t and that makes them bully you. Don’t let any words from bullies affect you because they are the ones, which need confidence, not you.” – Unknown

Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. An essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict. The behavior used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly toward a particular target.

Rationalization for such behaviors include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, size, strength or ability.

The activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another individual physically, mentally or emotionally is bullying in a nutshell. It is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person. It can be classified into four types:

Physical – hitting, punching, or kicking.

Verbal – name-calling or taunting.

Relational – destroying peer acceptance and friendships.

Cyber-bullying – using electronic means to harm others.

Physical, verbal, and relational bullying are the most prevalent in elementary school and could begin much earlier. Cyber-bullying is more common in middle school on up to adulthood.

Studies have shown that envy and resentment may be the motives for bullying. Research on the self-esteem of bullies has produced equivocal results. While some bullies are arrogant and narcissistic, they can also use bullying as a tool to conceal shame or anxiety or to boost self-esteem: by demeaning others, the abusers feel empowered. Bullies may bully out of jealousy or because they themselves are bullied. Psychologist Ray Baumerster asserts that people who are prone to abusive behavior tend to have inflated fragile egos. Because they think too highly of themselves, are frequently offended by criticisms and lack of deference of other people, and react to this disrespect with violence and insults.

Researchers have identified other risk factors such as depression and personality disorders, as well as quickness to anger and use of force, addiction to aggressive behaviors, mistaking others’ actions as hostile, concern with preserving self-image, and engaging in obsessive or rigid actions. A combination of these factors may also be causes of this behavior. A typical bully has trouble resolving problems with others and also has trouble academically. He or she usually has negative attitudes and beliefs about others, feels negatively toward himself/herself, comes from a family environment characterized by conflict and poor parenting, perceives school as negative and is negatively influenced by peers.

Contrarily, some researchers have suggested that some bullies are psychologically strongest and have high social standing among their peers, while their targets are emotionally distressed and socially marginalized. Peer groups often promote the bully’s actions, and members of these peer groups also engage in behaviors, such as mocking, excluding, punching, and insulting one another as a source of entertainment.

Usually bullying takes place in the presence of a large group of relatively uninvolved bystanders. This is used by the bully to create the illusion that he or she has the support of the majority present that instills the fear of “speaking out” in protestation of the bullying activities being observed by the group.

Unless the “bullying mentality” is effectively challenged in any given group in its early stages, it often becomes an accepted, or supported, “norm” within the group.

Unless action is taken, a “culture of bullying” is often perpetrated within a group for months, years, or longer. Bystanders who have been able to establish their own “friendship group” or “support group” have been found to be far more likely to opt to speak out against bullying behavior than those who have not. In addition to communication of clear expectations that bystanders should intervene and increasing individual self-efficacy, there is growing research that suggests interventions should build on the foundation that bullying is morally wrong.

It is very difficult to address teen bullying. However, there are some things that can help discourage bullying situations. Teens should be encouraged to seek out friends, in person and online, who are supportive and kind. They should try to move in groups if possible, since bullies tend to single out those who are alone. Words can really pack a punch. Four in 10 teens have experienced online harassment.

Victims of cyber-bullying experience low self-esteem, depression, and even thoughts of suicide. Cyber-bullying puts its victims lives in jeopardy. Please don’t ever suffer in silence, seek out an adult for help.

One local initiative is to check out the website: Hate Is Ugly

Go check out this website if you feel you know someone who is a victim or you, yourself have been a victim of bullying. Or you can write a note to the editor and he will get it to me. I will not leave you hanging.

#HateIsUgly

#EndBullying

#EnoughAlready

Cath Kestler is director for Organizing For Action NY Chautauqua County, which deals with issues that affect the community. She is a Silver Creek resident.