Last article, we met Bill, married to Margaret and father to Bo. A late call delayed my drive home. The combination, a fairly normal voice of Bill and a loud, expletive-rung voice of Bo brought my attention to the immediacy of the call.

A return call found Bill ready to reach out for help. I made certain, given the expletives punctuating the message that Bill and others were safe and not in danger. Bill gave his questionable assurance, though I maintained some doubt. We made an early morning appointment.

Despite the inclement weather, Bill and I met at 7:30 a.m. the next morning. He was visibly shaken. Though on a leave of absence, he was completing some work. Thus, the early appointment. I learned that Bo, his son, was residing with Bill and his wife, Margaret. Bo was unemployed. He dropped out of college in his sophomore year. He’s athletic. He’s having trouble sleeping. He’s lost weight. He lost his driver’s license. Bo had punched a hole in the living room wall and broke a favorite houseplant when refused his request to borrow the family car.

I brought to light a matter of safety to Bill. I questioned the veracity of his initial description. His words and countenance were incongruent. Bill broke down in tears to express his shame and embarrassment. Additionally, he and Margaret felt helpless and at wit’s end. He referenced Bo’s agitated state and chronic angered state of emotion. They felt “drained.” He agreed to an appointment the following day with Margaret.

The next day arrived and I was looking forward to meeting Margaret. Bill’s perspective was brief, short, yet emotional near the end of the session. Bill arrived with Margaret. She was dressed in business attire. She smiled and shook my hand with a firm grip. We sat down and proceeded to review the reason for their call. Margaret spoke clearly. “Bill and I are in agreement. Our son Bo dropped out of college and has been living with us. He’s a driven kid. He did well academically and athletically in high school. He earned a scholarship for college. We envisioned a bright future for Bo. The college life, at first, seemed ideal for him. The school has a rich tradition both academically and athletically. Bo wanted to be an engineer like me. I’m a chemical engineer and have a great job in the field. Bo was a track star in high school. He’s a big and strong guy. He threw the discus and shot-put. He broke school records. The college has a prominent national track team. The coach met us at our home. He said Bo would be a star on the team. His talents were endless.”

I looked at Bill while Margaret began to unfold some history regarding their son, Bo. Bill gazed at Margaret and he had a look of someone defeated. Margaret, however, spoke eloquently and with no emotion. Curious. So, Margaret, I asked, what about Bill’s call to me the other evening? Where were you? “I was there Marshall. I heard it all. Bo wanted to borrow the car to go visit friends. Bill said no. He was emphatic. I supported Bill. Bo got real angry, screamed and cursed us out, smashed one of my special plants and punched a wall.” Were you frightened, Margaret, I added? “Yes … well, somewhat. Bo gets that way a lot. I’m almost used to it, although the destruction bothers me.”

She turned toward Bill, who started to cry. If I could have frozen that moment, Margaret’s professional look and speech glazed over. No hug, no warmth emanating from her toward Bill. I took in the moment. I handed Bill the tissue box. So, Margaret, I asked further, how long has this experience with Bo been going on? Margaret looked at me, stared for a moment, and stated, “Since his sophomore year. Bo dropped out before the spring semester.”

I wondered silently what was missing. Here was a couple whose only child, Bo, age 23, was living with them and experiencing functional deficits and manifesting in heightened agitation. He’d lost his driver’s license, yet neither Bill or Margaret elaborated on the matter. Bo lost weight, slept poorly. I looked to both Bill and Margaret and asked, what really happened to Bo? What happened for him to forsake a scholarship and college? They looked at each other for the first time. “Marshall,” Margaret stated, “Bo has a serious drug problem. He had an injury and got pain killers. He’s hooked on them. It’s taking over his life.”

We set up another two-hour appointment for the next day.

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Marshall Greenstein, a Cassadaga resident, holds a master’s degree in marriage and family counseling and is a licensed marriage and family counselor and a licensed mental health counselor in New York state. He has regular office hours at Hutton and Greenstein Counseling Services, 501 E. Third St., Suite 2B, Jamestown, 484-7756. For more information or to suggest topics, email editorial@observertoday.com.