Last month we tackled the challenging task of bringing wokeness to the archaic game of football. The jargon is so ancient and brutal. In today’s age of sensitivity our goal is to offend no one with our words. Therefore, it is time for Roger Goodell and the his NFL minions to “wake up” and join the crowd of awakened humanity.

Because I am so woke myself, here are my suggestions to “awaken ” the game to the year 2022. Pay attention R.G.

The term “eligible receiver” is applied to a few players on a team who can receive a pass. That means a team has some players who are ineligible to receive a pass. Once again there is an appeal to supremacy and not equity. It is about time that we remedy this stain of inequality.

All players on a team should be equal therefore, all should be eligible. Let’s discard ineligibility and trash it where it belongs with the debris of all discriminatory action.

When a field goal is about to be attempted, a team may choose to “ice the kicker.” The game will be delayed by a timeout to allow the kicker to get nervous. The icing team hopes that he may be thinking, “Gee, I wish I can get this kick over with before I get so nervous that I’m going to miss the ball altogether and look like a fool. Ooh, I’m getting so nervous, I may have to go potty.” That’s what “icing the kicker” is designed to do.

Well, let me ask you this. Do any other players get “iced?” Of course not. So why should the kicker be singled out for this undeserved treatment? I am not even going to offer a new term for this action. I say “icing the kicker” be banned altogether as highly discriminatory and totally unfair behavior.

When the quarterback is several yards behind the center waiting to receive the ball, this is called the “shotgun formation.” It is criminal to bring to attention, before millions of people, a team dealing with armaments in an age that is already teeming with lawlessness and burgeoning violence. If there isn’t already more than enough crime in subways, streets, schools, and neighborhoods. The game of football has no need to add shotguns to the culture. I say the shotgun becomes the “peace formation.”

Well, enough for explaining my suggestions in detail. If Roger Goodell can’t see the need for woke terms, let him be responsible for his league being left in the dark . Here’s my final listing in an abbreviated manner.

A quarterback doesn’t get “sacked.” He’s “interrupted.”

“Special teams” are not special. They are “unified.”

A “bump and run” will now be an a more civilized “excuse me.”

A “wildcat formation” must become a ” kitty, kitty.”

The quarterback will no longer throw a “bomb.” It will be a “constructive rainbow.”

There, that’s it. The NFL should be well on its way to a kinder, gentler game. It will bring equity and love to the world.

Before we leave the game of “appendage ball,” what’s with this fine assigned to Buccaneer Quarterback Tom Brady the “Golden Boy”?

During the game against Atlanta, he was fined $11,139 as he appeared to kick at an opponent player named Grady Jarret.

Luckily, Brady’s offense didn’t occur during the new woke league rules. Otherwise, he probably would have been hand-cuffed and imprisoned in a empty cell vacated by a released accused murderer under cashless bail laws.

And how did the brains at NFL headquarters come up with that fine of $11,139? Was there a compromise between the Vice President of Bad Behavior and the Vice President of Disgusting Behavior between $11,138 and $11,140. Probably so.

One more thing. I noticed a statement on Josh Allen’s helmet Sunday during the recent Kansas City game. It states, “Choose Love.” One suggestion as the Bills aim for the Super Bowl. How about a slight change in the helmet motto to” Choose Love After THE BIG GAME.” Go, Bills!

Nin Privitera, former Fredonia resident, now resides in Franklin, Tenn. Send comments to editorial@observertoday.com