For some reason just before Christmas I was reading the electronic version of The Buffalo News I subscribe to when I came across an advice column. I generally avoid advice columns whether they be of the Ann Landers type or medical ones.

Anyway what probably caught my eye was a section entitled “Do’s and don’ts for visiting elderly friends.” Because I wanted to ensure that visitors who visit my wife and I are observing proper protocols and because we can both be considered elderly although we don’t feel that way, I took notice.

The advice was submitted by someone who described themselves as a professional caregiver with 15 years of experience staying round-the-clock with one client at a time and I’ll start off by saying she must have been a real nag to have around at times.

Her first bit of advice was, “Do not pop in. Instead, schedule your visit for midmorning or late afternoon because many older folks take a long time getting ready in the morning and then take a nap in the afternoon.”

Well in my case at age 80, retired and a night person I don’t get to bed much before 2 a.m. and don’t get up much before 9:30 or later. However, not wanting to appear a slouch, when I do get up I can be dressed and ready to go in 10 minutes. There is not much time in the morning for someone to visit but because I adhere to the traditional after dinner nap in the evening I don’t nap in the afternoon so afternoons would be perfect. In my wife’s case she occasionally takes an afternoon nap but is very flexible and can make herself available.

Next the caregiver tells us that guests should stay no longer than 40 minutes because older folks tire easily especially if they think they have to be “at their best” for the visit. Because I am always at my best during the day and don’t start nodding off until after dinner I should be able to stay awake and perhaps even alert until at least 7:30. However, based on this article I think I’ll tell visitors that if my wife and I should happen to fall asleep during a visit to make sure we are still breathing, leave the house quietly and just make sure the doors are locked.

Next, she tells readers to never, never, ever plan to share a meal with their loved ones even if you bring the food because the effort needed to set the table and clean up, even if you both do it “causes stress and uses energy your loved one may not have to spare.” OK, there seems to be a common misconception among younger generations that when you reach 65 or 70 you are as good as dead. That isn’t so. Many older folks, including my wife and I have managed to rise above the vicissitudes of advancing old age and remain reasonably energetic and still doing things like yard work, snow removal, meal preparation, reading, working on our computers or tablets, or even writing a weekly column.

However, the caregiver follows up by advising us that it is perfectly fine to bring a child’s drawing and definitely plan to share photos of children, pets, and beautiful landscapes. That might put me in a precarious position because after looking at a child’s drawing I might be liable to say something in a jocular manner something along the lines of “well its likely they will never be a Picasso or a Norman Rockwell, and they probably will flunk art when they get to school.” As for bringing the suggested pictures of children, pets, and beautiful landscapes because my wife is nicer than I she might say they are genuinely nice, but I would sit there thinking that our grandchildren, whose pictures are scattered about our home, are better looking and probably smarter than theirs. As for pictures of pets and beautiful landscapes as far as I’m concerned they are better left at home.

Our caregiver closes her advice for visiting the elderly by cautioning readers to keep the conversation light and positive, which could be a problem in our currently very contentious nation. Discussing politics is out unless you are all members of the same political party but even in that situation you might want to be careful in these times.

Even discussing the weather might want to be avoided in case you are not on the same side of the climate change debate. Naturally, the caregiver cautions about discussing family divorces, health concerns, and I suppose you could add to that a nephew’s arrest or a grandchild expelled from school for making a bomb threat.

Her reason for advising to keep the conversation light is based on her concern that many older folks are prone to anxiety and feel helpless in the face of other’s troubles. Well I never fear helpless in the face of others problems because they are not mine. I might give some advice or even add how sorry I am to hear that but that’s it.

Finally, after reading this advice and writing this column I am almost considering putting a sign on our front door that says, “NO VISITORS.”

Thomas Kirkpatrick Sr. is a Silver Creek resident. Send comments to editorial@observertoday.com