Pictured are students at Northern Chautauqua Catholic School in Dunkirk.

Pete Howard and I often talk about writing the script for the pilot of a television show. We already have a name for the show. North County Catholic.

That’s a little dig at The Buffalo News. The News could never get the name Northern Chautauqua Catholic School correct when Pedro would submit pieces of writing. BN would always write in Pete’s bylines that he was an English teacher at North County Catholic.

The premise of the show could be a way to raise money for the last Catholic School in Chautauqua County. A TV show about a financially struggling Catholic school, that makes a TV show about their school in order to raise money for the school. Pete and I would tithe and donate 10% of the millions of dollars that this TV show would generate to NCCS. We are both pretty generous guys. We might donate even more than 10% of our profits to the last Catholic School in Chautauqua County. After all, we have been taught about rich guys and camels passing through the eye of a needle. And you can’t take it with you.

With the proceeds from our wildly popular television program, the trusty NCCS trustees could upgrade the existing school building and put on a grand addition. Not as gaudy as a Trump ballroom but very nice for the children. The upgraded NCCS building would have all of the latest technology and features of a brand new public school. The former St. Mary’s School would have plenty of room for expansion so as to include grades 9-12 when the time comes. The millions generated from the show will allow NCCS to charge a very modest and affordable tuition for families who are serious about a Catholic education. The teachers and staff at NCCS could finally be paid a competitive wage.

The TV show would be filled with colorful characters including a beloved, intense principal who loves children, played by Chris Hemsworth. Zahn McClarnon would play the role of Mr. Pete Howard. I think Pedro would be well pleased with that choice as the actor to portray him. Devout Catholic Mark Wahlberg could be one of the school priests. Marky Mark already has some experience in a pastoral role from the movie Father Stu. I think Father Bob would like that. Morgan Freeman would make an excellent Father Dan Walsh. The TV show would not be complete without a sassy school secretary with a heart of gold who takes on a motherly role for students, parents and staff. Lisa Ann Walter maybe?

Anyone who knows the school, past and present, can certainly think of colorful and impactful teachers and staff members who would need to be included in the cast. Pete Howard and I will be open to suggestions for characters to include. Adorable child actors, maybe even actual Mighty Monarchs, could fill the student roles. Hailee Steinfeld could play the role of a mom who graduated from North County Catholic and who now sends her five wonderful children to NCC. Of course Janie Sharon would have to play herself. No other actress would do. The possibilities for characters and guest stars are almost endless.

Plot lines will vary from week to week but every episode will start with morning announcements that include prayer, fun and a pun. The daily announcements will end with the reminder for everyone listening to be kind, respectful and Christlike in their words and actions. North County Catholic will be funnier than “Welcome Back Kotter,” a little more serious than “Abbott Elementary” and more spiritual than Room 222. If you don’t recognize the references to Kotter and 222, you are obviously not a Boomer. Look these shows up. They are legendary TV from the 70s.

NCCS the TV show will document meaningful events in the lives of students, parents, faculty, staff and clergy. Programming will include serious topics like priest abuse scandals, homelessness, addiction, death and divorce. But the episodes will also include the amazing and amusing things that adorable kids do every day as well as the unorthodox teaching methods of some very creative teachers. Conflict with the Diocese and the show’s producers over content will provide the much needed tension that all good TV shows have. In addition to prayer, every episode will include a Christian lesson and message.

There are many hurdles for Pete and I to overcome before this pilot is written and the show finally airs. So many of the episodes will be based on real life events that viewers familiar with the school might suggest that the privacy of some NCCS families is being violated. Finding the right blend of drama, humor and spirituality will be challenging. Of course there will be hurt feelings. Even if the characters and stories are completely fictional, people will be unhappy with their perception of how they are being portrayed. I am sure that getting this project off the ground will require being granted some sort of permission from an uptight Diocese. Pedro and I will need a crack legal team as we will likely be sued.

North County Catholic the TV series may never make it to television. I wanted to write about it here so that if someone else takes our idea and runs with it, I can point out that Pedro and I had the idea first and that I wrote about our idea in this column. I will also point out the Eighth Commandment. And we will demand that at least 10% of the profits from any show like North County Catholic be donated to Northern Chautauqua Catholic School. In the meantime, the last Catholic School in Chautauqua County needs your support. It’s Angels’ season. Be an NCCS Angel. Give early and give often.

Andrew Ludwig is a retired math teacher and a retired public school and Catholic school administrator. He currently works as a substitute teacher in Chautauqua County.