Hopefully you’ve been keeping up with the column, but if not, here’s a quick recap:

We’ve been exploring the most obnoxious, unforgiveable, despicable golfers out there and imploring people to avoid being these kind of people out on the course.

Over the past two weeks, we’ve looked at The Cell Phone Addict, The Chronically Late Guy, The Awareness Level Zero Guy, The “I Better Wait” Guy, The Man of 1,000 Practice Swings, The “I Got Par” Guy, The Anti-Repair Man and The Litter Bug. If those didn’t frost your cookie (is that a saying?), the “guys” this week certainly will. Let’s take a look.

The Human Sprinkler — This is one I honestly would never have thought of. Thanks go out to my third grade teacher, Mrs. Clark, for emailing me with her suggestion for this list. You’re a group of guys hanging out together while playing some golf and enjoying some cold beverages when nature calls. What to do? Well, there’s a Porta Potty by the next tee box. You could just wait. There’s a grove of trees just off the fairway. But no, The Human Sprinkler just goes right where he’s standing. First off, gross. Secondly, there are women that play golf, too. Does chivalry (and common decency) disappear as soon as you get a few beers in you? Sadly, this appears to be the case. Mrs. Clark and others shouldn’t have to worry about getting flashed while on the golf course. Don’t be this guy.

The Music Man — If you’ve ever attended or watched a PGA event, you’ve probably seen the volunteers holding up “Quiet, please” signs while the golfers are addressing their ball. There’s a reason for that. Golf takes a certain degree of concentration. I understand that not everyone goes out there caring about how they score for the day, but you’re also not alone on the golf course. Zooming around in your cart blasting music that everyone on the property can hear is just bad form. Don’t be this guy, either. The angriest I’ve ever seen my brother-in-law was because of some buffoons in the group ahead of us blaring their music.

The Lollygagger — Pace of play. What more can I say? Actually, I can and will say quite a bit more. When you finish out on a green, get in your cart and go so the group behind you can hit. The Lollygagger is that guy who stands behind his cart and cleans his wedge or turns around to count up his strokes for that hole, totally oblivious to the fact that a group is waiting to hit. This is also the guy who tallies everyone’s final score while sitting in his cart right next to No. 18 green. Holy smokes! Get out of the way! This was Gordie’s second contribution to the list. Thanks, Gordie.

The Gimme Guy — Sam was nice enough to send in his thoughts on both the Lollygagger and The Gimme Guy. There are instances, I have to admit, when I take gimmes. This past season I was introduced to a gimme rule that I rather like. If it’s for par or better, there are no gimmes. You earn that par, folks. Aside from that, these guys played anything inside of a putter length is good. That seems a little bit long to me. I don’t take gimmes outside of maybe half of a putter’s length. It’s more of a feel thing, I suppose. That said, I’ve played with people who have just picked up their ball while still several feet away and said something like, “there’s my par.” Umm…excuse me? Again, I have never played competitively, so I don’t truly care, but it still feels like cheating.

I must be honest, folks. I’m actually running low on ideas for more entries to the list. If you have suggestions, please send them to golfersdiary@gmail.com. Let’s keep this crazy train rolling.

Until next time, golf is great. Go get some.

Stefan Gestwicki is an OBSERVER contributing writer. Comments on this article can be sent to golfersdiary@gmail.com.