In undertaking the philosophy of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, “common sense” plays an integral part of a client changing their irrational thinking and behavior and leading a more productive life.

Unfortunately in this society, “common sense” is at a premium, especially in the field of chemical dependency. When we look at some of the behaviors that go on in our homes, schools and society and the justifications for backing these irrational thinking patterns, it makes people like myself, that came from another time, when common sense prevailed, cringe. For example, is it common sense for our law enforcement officers to operate in the environment of today’s law and court system? Common sense dictates that the majority of law enforcement is doing the job the way it is supposed to be done.

Most officers are there to uphold the law. Are there “bad apples,” yes, and common sense dictates they wean themselves out of the profession. What the population of this country often does is “overgeneralize” and if someone crosses the line by doing something irrational, then this behavior is applied to the whole population of law enforcement. This is highly irrational thinking and contributes to prejudice and aggressive behavior. I tell the REBT students look at the behaviors and then see how many officers are doing that behavior and then rate the behavior, not the person. It takes time and patience.

After being a chemical dependency counselor for 36 years, I would hope I’ve learned something about “common sense” and addictions.

Clients in addiction, say alcoholism, are demanding, have low frustration tolerance, awfulize and rate themselves and others, usually in negative terms. Common sense is out the window. If the clients rated the behaviors that are going on, even though their thinking will still be irrational, that would be a start. The beliefs about themselves are the irrational beliefs based on their core beliefs. A core belief is a deep-rooted thinking pattern, and because of DENIAL, the sick person continues to give it power. For example, the think I’ve heard the most through the years from clients addicted to drugs is “I must be able to control my drug use!”

Common sense dictates that after court costs, arrests, jail terms, loss of income and a life filled with misery, a person hitting themselves in the head with a hammer, tells the therapist when asked, “why would you keep doing that?” and he or she answers, “because it feels good when I stop.”

Highly irrational answer, and nowhere near a “common sense” answer from another client whose thinking is different and rational.

My class often hears “no pain, no gain.” In any profession, the demands to be rational and do the appropriate behaviors prevail. Telling a counselor that coming to treatment is not to stop and be abstinent only, tells me how sick and a lack of common sense of all the negative behaviors. I had a counselor recently tell me that, “I know how aggressive you are, going after their disease, but I just can’t confront them because I fear them going to my supervisor and also because I don’t care to ‘get into’ it with them.” When I signed up to be a counselor, I knew this was going to be one of the toughest jobs I would ever do. From coaching, I took respect. Clients may not like you, but if they respect you for your efforts, then common sense dictates that this person can be worked with. Communication with the client who wants to “control” the drug use is crucial. Refusing to go to group, rehab, or being around treatment instead of in it, doesn’t fly today nor did it years ago. A client that has been fighting this addiction, then will continue to use, even with the blessings of some counselors, and his multiple, multiple treatments need to be called in for a “Come to Jesus” talk. Reading this article, some addicts will say, “I’m not going to this guy because he sounds like a dictator.” Common sense would say all these years and the “easier, softer way” can prove that we failed with this client up to now because of treatment philosophy, not behaviors.

In staying sober for 36 years, it boils down to self-discipline, and being willing to go to any length to achieve that goal. When I looked at the charts that followed my people into treatment, the majority that continued to have difficulty were not willing to get honest and go to any length to maintain that honesty. Being accountable was another key. Yes, you may go out and smoke crack, but there are consequences for irrational behaviors. I promised myself that I would not become a “professional enabler” by letting them continue to do behaviors that keep them sick. In dealing with addicts that want to control, not stop their drug use, we are going to do it my way, not theirs. We have many hardcore clients that hated what we wanted for them and not us. Changing a statement and core believe like “I’m damaged and worthless because of my alcoholism or addiction,” breeds common sense statements like “I’m not damaged or worthless, only mistaken because I’ve been thinking this way for a long time since I’ve been addicted.”

Somewhere along the line we lost the technique of explaining the whole addiction process to these clients. We were taught “you get nothing for nothing. Don’t put anything into your recovery, don’t expect anything back.” My colleagues of today that are not commonsensical may run rehabs, deal with clients that they enable and continue to keep people sick. Good luck and I hope common sense helps you in the future.

Finally, when we as counselors subscribe treatment goals, many of them are commonsensical. Triggers of addiction are huge. Learning to deal with them is an integral part of recovery. Mental triggers like anger, rage, shame, guilt, anxiety, depression and fear need to be avoided because they are not luxuries. Physical triggers such as places used before, people used with, and things purchased for alcohol and other drug use. “If you want to stay sober, stay away from all of these triggers. Half measures will get you nothing, except longer addiction and more treatment. Thus when using the REBT method common sense, ranks very high on the ladder of recovery.

To all of you out there who have sent their prayers, cards, letters for Karen and myself during our time of illness, thank you. We know we have always lived in a supportive community and during both our ordeals, the love and support of this community has helped get us through this time.