Yeah, I know. It probably comes off as hackneyed, trite, cliche, or just stating the obvious. But, at the risk of soliciting a sarcastic response, I’ll say it anyway: Decency matters.

Of course decency, like beauty, is in the eyes of the beholder. There is no prescription, no universal set of standards, and there are very few laws that prohibit “indecent” behaviors. Family, school, and community all contribute to our varying perceptions. What is common, however, is that decency is something of value, something positive that influences how we treat each other as fellow human beings.

Kids learn behaviors at home first. They are monkeys, imitating what they see and hear from older family members, then venturing out on their own to test the waters of what they can and cannot do. They also begin to notice that behavior standards at home might be different from those of the outside world. For example, a child might get away with using bad language at home, but is forbidden from using it elsewhere.

In elementary school, kids are exposed to new standards of decency as they begin to socialize. Over time, they might develop friendships with kids who have similar behavior standards at home. If, for example, a lot of arguing goes on in both their homes, the friends might practice arguing together as a common means of expressing themselves, or they might find a bond commiserating over their families’ dysfunctions.

It’s just as likely, however, that the kid with loose standards at home befriends someone with more stringent ones.

Here both kids get a glimpse of an alternative set of expectations. Through high school, kids become more and more critically aware of not only what goes on in their school and community, but also in the outside world. As they enter adulthood, most will have pieced together a code of living in which standards for decency are set.

As adults and parents, they become the standard bearers of decency for each new generation. In an ideal world, decency would consist of a rainbow of virtues, including honesty, compassion, integrity, and tolerance, and forgiveness.

Those who exhibit such qualities would rise to positions of leadership in their communities. They would become clergymen, policemen, teachers, principals, coaches, business leaders and politicians – exemplars of high standards of social conduct.

Of course this is not the real world in which we live. Violence, sexual images, misogyny, and racism have become ubiquitous through the internet. Reality TV shows have glorified and popularized shameless, repugnant characters. Advancements in cosmetic medicines and surgeries have encouraged older people to think of themselves as generations younger, and to act and talk that way. In little league sports, overly competitive parents put on unabashed displays of poor sportsmanship, including getting into physical fights in the stands.

But none of that is news – it is just more evidence of a gradual decline, an unfortunate, inevitable by-product of free enterprise and free speech. What is new, however, is the nature and content of political speech, which has become increasingly crass, caustic, and mendacious over the past ten years. Too many politicians today are talking and behaving like adolescent bullies and demagogues. These are not your typical bad role models. The effects of their words and behaviors permeate all of society, including children and teens.

I get that politics is tough business, and that voters want someone to fight for their beliefs. But I wonder where the line is these days regarding what is decent. Would a decent human mock and denigrate war veterans, even a distinguished, former prisoner of war? Would a decent human boast that if you have enough money, women will let you grab their vaginas? Would a decent human sit and do nothing when he could make one phone call to end a riot in which police officers are being killed and wounded? Would a decent American trust Putin more than his own generals?

Does decency matter? If not, then who or what have we become?

Pete Howard is a Dunkirk resident who teaches English Language Arts at Northern Chautauqua Catholic School and is a musician. Send comments to editorial@observertoday.com