John and Evelyn Starkey, 93 and 92: A Love Story Spanning Seven Decades
Life-long educators John and Evelyn (nee Cotter) Starkey were married in Aug. 1956, and died 69 years and one month later within six days of one another. They were intelligent, accepting, strong, and huge-hearted — individually, and as a couple. They both grew up in New York City, met at SUNY Cortland, and after John’s military service, began their life together on Long Island before moving to Buffalo when he took a faculty position at Daemen College — then known as Rosary Hill. John was a beloved Russian and European history professor there for decades, while Evelyn was an early childhood teacher and lauded trainer for Head Start.
They raised their family in Snyder, NY, and spent their final years together in Williamsville. Evelyn passed away at Brooks Memorial Hospital in Dunkirk on Sept. 25 and John passed away at Buffalo General Medical Center in Buffalo on Oct. 1. Each loved teaching and the arts. John was also a gardener, swimmer, skier, and fan of sports and film. Evelyn had a knack for fashion, interior design, and child advocacy — and her skill at engaging anyone in meaningful conversation was legendary.
They were devoted parents of five children (Claire, Brigid and Joseph Starkey, Sheila Starkey Hahn and John Starkey) and thoroughly enjoyed them, their partners, eleven grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. Beyond their own family, they opened their home and hearts to the children of friends. An annual summer delight was gathering extended family in Cape May, NJ, where Evelyn reveled in Victorian architecture and browsed local shops while John cherished ocean views and waves – body surfing the latter into his 80s.
They approached life with simple sensibilities: they never saw much need for heating or cooling their house, and breakfasts were always modest (one bagel was often sliced to feed every member of the family). John and Evelyn treasured close friends, and were devoted to each other. They read the newspaper over coffee daily and voraciously discussed current events. Dinners with them were always memorable — John was a wonderful chef, and conversations at their table were thoughtful, wide-ranging, and very funny.
The grandchildren — who knew them lovingly as “Bink” and “Evie” — reflect their interests and philosophies, from athletes to poets, world travelers to teachers, engaged students to committed parents. Each one was the special favorite. This second generation, ages twelve to thirty-four, summed up their legacy in recent birthday messages:
“We love your stories — appreciate that you impart wisdom while also being good listeners… taught us to always be kind and empathetic — to never hold a grudge — to be open-minded…to value time over money. Thank you for providing us a blueprint of how to live this life.”
They were cherished beyond measure.
A celebratory memorial service will be held on Saturday, March 14, 2026. Time and location will be announced. Donations in their memory may be made to Read to Succeed Buffalo at readtosucceedbuffalo.org. Friends and family are invited to share memories and condolences via larsontimkofuneralhome.com. Arrangements by David J. Dengler, LARSON-TIMKO Funeral Home.